You know those times when things start falling apart all around you and it makes you think "Well shit, I better look at myself and do some changin' or it's gonna happen to me"? Yeah, well the past week has been one of those weeks.
Marriages are falling apart. Like 4 people I know are going through a divorce or separation right now and frankly, I'm scared. So of course, things start to go through my head and I start to wonder what I should do to make sure that it doesn't happen to me. Yeah, I'm one of those insecure chicks. I admit it. I'm working on it.
One person is getting divorced because he cheated. In listening to him tell the story. To tell about what happened, how it happened, and why it happened, I'm actually feeling sorry for this guy. Yes, me a woman, is feeling sorry for a man that cheated on his wife. I have broken down the major factors leading up to this. Now, I came to the conclusion following this that I should feel sorry for the guy.
1. He and his wife have had problems for years apparently. He admits to alot of wrong doing during all of that and doesn't blame everything on her, but still... alot of things have gone on.
2. She's a jealous person. She did not want him looking at, talking to, or breathing in the direction of a woman. And the man hadn't even done anything wrong. So this caused him to do the big nuh uh and started hiding things from her. I understand he felt he had to. For a hypothetical example, he'd do something like change the name Heather, to Heath R. in his phone.
3. As the years went by, this problem got worse. Things were worse at home and they began to lose touch with each other and she started withholding from him. Yes, withholding. That. You know.... And you know what that means.
4. That was the breaking point. He had another woman in his face tempting him non-stop. He wasn't getting it at home so he acted on it. I know tisk tisk.
Anyway, I said all that to say that I gotta change me. I gotta make my man want to stay home. First I must start by not being jealous... or showing it anyway. Now I have never been extreme like not allowing him to talk to girls, but I have expressed jealousy about woman in the past. Ok. Alot. So that's step 1. I don't want him to feel like he has to hide things from me which I'm sure he has and has felt like he had to in the past. I've even caught him in a few, but never told him.
I also have got to change my appearance. I need to keep my guy looking at me. I have to quit with the pony tails and the the flat shoes he hates and just grin and bear it and make sure he finds me attractive. And yes, that means... dun dun dun.... losing a BUNCH of weight. I am sure that people would think I was an idiot. All those feminist liberals out there who think that my husband is a bad person because he finds physically fit and well kept women attractive. No, he's not. He's a straight man. And he's got me, so he might as well like what he's got haha.
My attitude is another big one. I don't want him to think I don't care. I want him to know I love him. I will be sure to talk more, touch more, and love more. So he doesn't go running off looking for it elsewhere.
I'm serious about all this. I know he loves me, but I want to be the best me to ensure he stays right here. So begins my journey on this blog and on this new venture. The blog to get it all out and remind myself what I'm doing.
